Yes, I’m tall. I was born that way. My parents were tall and my grandparents were tall; I am fine with it. I am proud of it. I am perfectly okay with it. But you know what I am not okay with? Tall men being utterly fetishized in our society.

It’s not okay to walk up to a tall man in a bar and ask how tall he is (I’m 6’5, not that it’s anyone’s business.) Nor is it okay to ask if I played basketball in high school or college. I didn’t. What’s even creepier is now online dating sites let women filter through their matches for tall men. If you will only date men of a certain height, you are a heightist slimeball and you need to check your privilege.

I’m looking at you, short girls. Short girls have an amazing amount of privilege in America. They think they can date short men. They think they can date tall men. They think they can date anything in between. Guess what honey: The world is not your oyster soup and I am not your real-life porn fantasy.

My body is proportionate, so guess what: my cock is huge. I’m just not physically compatible with a girl who is 5’2″ and you wouldn’t believe their shock when I let them buy me drinks all night and still won’t jump into their beds. Do you know how gross it is to try and buy me with pints of IPA?

So listen up short women: you need to stick to those short guys and stop harassing us. I am not your exotic fantasy. I am a human being with thoughts and feelings and enormous body parts that aren’t compatible with your tiny orifices. Tall girls: hit me up. Especially if you are Asian.